Morbid beauty

Yesterday I accompanied a handful of other parents on what must be the strangest field trip EVER. Mini 2 and the the 5th graders in her school went to a cemetery. Yes, you read correctly. I did say we took a field trip to the cemetery. At first it was kind of creepy but I guess there are some notables buried there and that would have made it "fun", but the rain prevented us from checking out them out.

Here are some of the pictures I took:

The angel on this headstone is made with so much detail her skirt almost looks like it's real fabric.

I forget what the world is called but this is one of my favorite shrines.

The Gerrard's final resting place...have no idea who they are I just liked this building.

We all thought this looks lice ice and think it might glow at night.

"Bless the Master Mason's who give us heritage." ~ I took this photo because of my connection to the Fraternal Order of Masons.

Another of my favorite grave markers.

One of I think 15 lakes on the 400 acres that comprise the "developed" portion of the cemetery.

One of very few red granite headstones.

Who needs vengeance when you can have vindication?

FINALLY, I have been vindicated. At the behest of Mini 3, Ex Knight and I are now pretending (insert trying, attempting, agreeing, if you prefer) to be friends. The magic of technology allows me to block my number and call him (safety first) without revealing where my own unique spot on the map is and since Mini 3 asked if she could call her father well, he and I have had a few of "those" conversations. Today's though...it had to be the best.

Ex Knight FINALLY accepted AND admitted that it wasn't our marriage that failed, it was HIM that failed. His admission went on to include confirmation of my deep seated notion that, assuming he could be 5 again when we all still got "do-overs", he'd do some things over. He went on to explain that he has now realized he needed to grow up and, though I'm not convinced at present, he swears he's spent the last couple years doing just that. Too bad it only took losing his marriage and family for him to figure it out.

I still feel sorry for him...I can't help it. It's so very unfortunate that his choices cost him the relationship he had or hoped to have with his kids (even if it turns out that's only temporary). I also feel sorry for my children. It's equally unfortunate that in order for them to enjoy the life they now lead, he had to be taken out of the equation. It must be dreadfully painful to know you may not ever talk to, let alone see, your children ever again. But then again, some lessons are harder to learn than others and sometimes mistakes only need to be made once. I hope, when it comes to Ex Knight, he has truly learned his lesson and that this will be one mistake he never has to make again. Perhaps in time, when enough of it has passed, the Minis will be able to build a safe and secure bridge to their father and give him permission to cross it.

I cannot even BEGIN to explain how great it made me feel to hear Ex Knight admit what I've known for YEARS. I mean just knowing it felt good too. Hearing him actually TELL ME (without provocation I might add) that he was to blame and he'd do it different if he could do it over and KNOWING that it no longer matters to me one way or the other if he would have done things different or not...well yeah that has just left me feeling vindicated...FINALLY.

"I the Lord am bound

when ye do what I say" says Doctrine and Covenants 82:10. And, if you've ever had a temple recommend interview you know one of the things you are asked is "are you honest in your dealings?". I believe the Lord requires us to be honest and blesses us when we are.

Recently, my kids and I were involved in a car accident. It's been a painful two weeks as we've struggled to "feel better" and deal with the pain until we do. The other driver has the minimum insurance our state requires and well, you know how insurance companies can be right? Anyway so in telling the details of our accident to people, many have suggested I hire an attorney and laugh all the way to the bank. I, however, am not looking for a huge payout. I want what I had BEFORE the other driver made the mistake she did....a reliable vehicle, pain free living, and ok I'll be honest...a lil retail therapy might go a long way in helping me forget about the pain I've suffered, but my point is I'm not looking to "get rich" or take her insurance "to the cleaners".

I believe when you do the right thing, just because it's the right thing, the Lord will bless you. Apparently I must be pretty accurate in my thoughts because I've just received the most glorious blessing.

Poor Jazz...he's been totaled out and will be sold as salvage. I will miss him that's for sure. He gave my children and I some much needed freedom and independence and took a big hit so we didn't have to. Yes he leaked when it rained, yes he had more rust than an iron nail in water, yes he was tiny and long trips were rough on my knees but he was ours and we were sad to see him all crunched up.

On the 1st, her insurance called me with an offer for my car...$1100 plus tax and title...I paid $1200 for Jazz and asked he at least give me that...he agreed. The next call, then, was to Ward Car Guy.

I explained to Ward Car Guy that I should have a check for Jazz in the next week or two and could he please be on the look out for a new car for me. I fully expected to be out of a car for a while once taking the rental back. I mean, the chance of finding a decent car for the $1200 I was getting for Jazz just didn't seem possible really. I figured I'd have to spend some of the monies I'm sure to get in the settlement on a vehicle and was gearing up to be without wheels for a while. And then...the Lord kept his part of the deal....remember "I the Lord am bound when ye do what I say," like being honest and doing the right thing just because it's the RIGHT thing.

Ward Car Guy calls me back that night and informs me he's just bought a new truck and he has a 2000 Ford Taurus he's willing to sell me. He goes into an explanation about what is or isn't wrong with it (he could take a body and a box of parts and build a car) and then says something like how he could get a lot more for the car than what he's gonna ask I give him for it but he'll give it to me for 1200, I can have it Friday and if that doesn't work well then he'll go ahead and look for other options.

WILL THAT WORK??? Ummmmmmmmmmm let's see.....buy a car for the EXACT same price as I'm getting for my totaled car. Buy it from a church member who I KNOW I can count on to be honest PLUS one who ALSO knows all things car and be confident I'm going to get a GOOD car, or take a chance I'd get another car that would allow me to take a shower and drive in the rain all at the same time? Oh wait, I forgot...he also said I could take possession of the car now and we'd work out the paperwork once I got my check from the insurance. What an incredible blessing this is for the Minis and I. Thanks so much Ward Car Guy, we appreciate you!