Sunday, May 17, 2009

Note to self: Waterproof adhesive

I guess technically this post could also have been done at To Stir Your Soul but I'm choosing to put it here instead.

I had the distinct pleasure and privilege of attending Time Out For Women, an event sponsored by Deseret Book, since returning, my words have pretty much failed me. I seriously lack the words to describe (with any amount of justice) what I am presently thinking and feeling. My words ALWAYS come back (though some people probably wish they wouldn't LOL) and when they do I'll blog on the experience in general, but I wanted to share one of the most profound moments I had while there with all of you right now.

As you all know from reading my Over You post,...WHAT!!!! You didn't read it...go now, I'll wait.

there so NOW that you've read my Over You post, you know that I am audio powered. Because of this, it's VERY seldom music can move me to tears...I mean I listen to so much music (all genres and types), that it's rare I cry over songs anymore. Daughtry was the last person to make me do it but he only did it once. Hilary Weeks, accomplished LDS musician, had me crying ALL day, EVERY time she performed. And, while I often exaggerate, this is not one of those times...not even a little bit.

I'd like to say I've followed her career and been a fan for years, but I didn't know SHE was the one who sang "He Came for Me" (one of my FAVORITE songs from the CD Women at the Well) until I heard it on HER album The Collection and was otherwise in the dark when it came to her talent. I gotta tell you...out of such a lil gal comes a FIERCELY huge sound, but that's beside the point...let me take you back to the story.

So Hilary was our opening entertainment on Saturday and sang to us between speakers too. This allowed us to hear several of her songs the way music is meant to be enjoyed....LIVE woo hoo! She sang to my heart in a way NO ONE has ever done before - sorry Daughtry you just got beat by a girl! In fact, I was so moved and tearful I cried my fake lashes right off.

The song is "You Give" off her album If I Only Had Today and while it's not one she personally wrote, her performance of it hugged my heart in my Father's embrace. I know it hardly seems possible right...but yeah that's EXACTLY what it did. Here are the lyrics...

You give me sight
When I can't see
You give me breath
When I can't breathe
And You give me love
And You give me peace
And You always seem to give
Just what I need

You take my doubt
And replace it with truth
You take my fear
So all I see is You
You take me as I am
And You take me by the hand
You see to my soul and You take
just what I need

CHORUS: You give and take away
And refine me day by day
As You lead me through the bitter and sweet
I am trusting You to make me complete
Though You see the heartache
You're sending Your sweet grace
As You give
And You take

You give me strength
And You give me life
You give me hope
And you give me light
You take my pain
And You take my shame
You bless me to see the give and take
Is just what I need


Please send Your perfect grace
as You give
and You take

Over the last year or two I've been reminded of all the things Ex Knight has taken from my family. It's VERY hard for me to think about that word "take" without thinking about everything I've had taken from me and then I heard this gave me a TOTALLY different perspective on the word. I'd like to share with you some of what I penned (formatted to fit this blog) after telling a glimpse of my story to Hilary and I hope that she'll understand my tears conveyed everything my mouth could not...


It's about noon on Saturday and I'm in attendance at TOFW - I find myself completely ill prepared for this experience. I've needed this for so very long, but in being here, I've realized I needed it even more than I originally thought.

The speakers have been amazing and I've taken pages and pages and pages of notes but the music - oh my, the music is moving me in ways I didn't expect. From the amazing violin of Jenny Oaks Baker to Hilary Weeks to even the intermission music - all of it really but especially a Hilary Weeks song called "You Give" - she didn't write it, but oh how she sang it.

"You give me breath when I can't breathe." WOW! Get this though "you take my doubt and replace it with truth, you take my fear so all I see is take me as I am and you take me by the hand." that's such an ever present word in my life - usually with every negative connotation you can imagine.

Ex Knight took so much from me. My identity was taken, my home was taken, my family was taken, my faith, to some degree, was taken. My friends were taken, my hope was taken, my dreams were taken, and my children's innocence was taken; yes the list could go on and on.

And then comes this soul stirring song written by Tyler Castleton and Stacie Peters (Hilary please thank them for me) and sung by Hilary Weeks. Why have I NEVER considered this fresh perspective of the word take? Why have I not ever previously considered asking the Lord to take my pain, heartache, and fear? How refreshing it is to learn this now - every single day I can ask my Heavenly Father to take from me that which I lack the ability to handle alone.

My new prayer or goal is to allow Heavenly Father to freely give and take to and from my life and the next time I get to see Hilary Weeks in person I've got to remember to use waterproof adhesive.

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